If I don’t buy my 22-year-old son a car, he threatens to move out of the house and live with my ex-husband.


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Michael is my son. I believed that our rocky teenage years were behind us, as he turned 22 last month. I had no idea that a storm was building directly beneath my nose.

Michael barged in the kitchen, his face contorted with annoyance, while I was making lunch.

“We need to talk, Mom,” he remarked in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

I turned to face him and asked, “Yes, honey, what’s on your mind?”

Arms folded, he leaned against the counter. “A car is what I need.”

I hesitated, surprised. “A vehicle? How did your part-time work go? You were putting money aside for one.

Michael sighed with exasperation. “I know, but I really need it now, and it’s taking forever to save up.”

I scowled and used a kitchen towel to wipe my hands. “Cars are pricey, Michael. You are aware of that. Additionally, since you work, you can save a little bit more money and—

He interrupted me, impatient, saying, “No, Mom, I can’t wait anymore.” I’m sick and tired of relying on you for rides or the bus because all of my pals own vehicles. I must have my independence.

“Michael, I understand, but we can’t just afford to buy you a car out of the blue,” I said, feeling annoyed. It’s not really that easy.

With clinched jaw, he narrowed his eyes. “Well, then I might just move in with Dad.” I’ll get an automobile from him.

His remarks were like a ton of bricks to me.

Rather of being a good dad, my ex-husband David always sought to buy Michael’s affection. I was shocked that Michael would even consider making such a suggestion.

Trying not to lose my cool, I added, “Michael, you can’t just threaten to leave because you’re not getting what you want.”

“Why not? I would make my dad very happy. He always treats me,” he shot out in a furious tone.

This isn’t about your dad,” I said, taking a deep breath as I tried to organize my thoughts. It has to do with accountability. Now that you’re an adult, part of being an adult involves making mature choices.

“Yeah, responsible decisions like being the only one among my friends without a car,” he said, rolling his eyes.

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Bessie

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