In a peaceful suburban house, a loving mother faced a devastating predicament when her boyfriend’s 12-year-old son persisted in purposefully frightening their three-month-old daughter. The mother reached a breaking point as a result of the disturbing behavior continuing despite sincere requests and warnings.
An anonymous female member shared her distressing experience on the “AITAH” subreddit on January 11, 2024. She questioned how her postpartum depression (PPD) diagnosis affected her behavior.
For six years, the Original Poster (OP) had been dating her partner. For the previous two years, he and his 12-year-old son, Jake, had shared a home with OP. After owning her home for almost ten years, OP was confronted with a painful problem with Jake’s treatment of their three-month-old baby.
Jake seemed to love his sister, but when he purposefully frightened the baby, a concerning pattern became obvious. Jake would come over to the infant, shouting, “RA!” and laughing at her astonished reactions. He would laugh and then pretend he didn’t mean to frighten her while making phony excuses.
Torn between her worries, the possible impact of PPD, and her need for a solution, the OP sought guidance from the online community when this upsetting pattern occurred at least four times every day.
Even although OP repeatedly tried to stop Jake’s disturbing behavior, warning him about the danger to the baby’s hearing and stressing that his acts lacked humor, the concerning behavior continued.
Three days before, OP had lost her temper and confronted her boyfriend and Jake, which was the tipping point. With a stern warning that any more deliberate threats would result in eviction, she essentially erased them from her life.
The decision to take such drastic measures stemmed from the boyfriend’s inconsistent response. While he occasionally intervened, he also dismissed OP’s concerns as mere overreactions. In an attempt to justify Jake’s actions, he insisted that finding amusement in a baby’s startle reflex was a common sentiment among children.
OP, grappling with the weight of her ultimatum, vividly recalled the moment in these words, “If he purposely scared my kid again, then [Jake and OP’s boyfriend] would be evicted.” Despite the stern warning, a pang of remorse struck her as Jake, wearing a despondent expression, retreated to his room.
A night before OP shared her narrative, she stepped out of the room for a moment, leaving her three-month-old daughter peacefully swaying in her swing. During her brief absence, Jake seized the opportunity to engage in another disturbing episode.
OP, from a distance, overheard Jake employing a baby voice, urgently asking, “What are you doing?” The aftermath was immediate–her daughter’s screams pierced the air. Rushing back, she heard her boyfriend intervening, attempting to address the situation.
Approximately an hour later, another unsettling incident unfolded. This time, as OP entered the bathroom, she heard the dreaded “RA,” followed by her daughter’s cries once more, echoing through the house.
Fueled by a mix of frustration and concern for her baby’s well-being, she wasted no time in delivering an ultimatum. Without waiting for a response, she instructed her boyfriend and Jake to pack their belongings and leave immediately, her primary focus now on comforting her distressed child.
Jake, sensing the severity of the situation, attempted to apologize, attributing his actions to a habit. The boyfriend, on the other hand, protested, downplaying the significance of the events. Unyielding, OP rejected their excuses and insisted they depart. However, her boyfriend defiantly claimed his stake in the house, refusing to leave.
Faced with this impasse, OP threatened to leave herself and have the authorities serve an eviction notice. Despite the boyfriend’s pleas and insistence that Jake is just a 12-year-old who can’t be perfect, she left and took decisive action the following day, filing for their eviction.
Amidst the escalating tensions, OP had previously attempted to understand Jake’s motives behind scaring her daughter, directly asking him why he engaged in such behavior. “[He] thinks it’s funny when kids cry,” recollected OP after their conversation.
Still, a part of her wondered if she had done the right thing. “AITA for kicking my BF and his kid out because his son was constantly scaring my baby on purpose?” questioned OP.
OP’s story resonated across the internet, receiving widespread attention and sympathy from the online community. The prevailing sentiment among the majority is one of support, with many affirming that she took the appropriate course of action.
“NTA. Yes. He’s 12. Old enough to know better and to not do it. Old enough to listen to instructions. Would he like it if you startled him every morning? No. He’s 12 but he’s being an AH and it sounds almost sadistic,” opined one user.
“As the mother of a 12 year old, I 100% agree that this is not normal for that age. Maybe if he was 5 or 6, but certainly not 12. They learn after being correct once or twice. The fact that he says he likes making babies cry is alarming. I’m wondering what other behavioral issues he has,” added a second person.
“As the mother of a 4 year old, this [behavior] would only be understandable if Jake was 2 or 3 years old,” quipped a third netizen. “Let your boyfriend get to sleep and then clang a couple of pans together to wake him up. Do this a night or so and see if it changes his mind. His kid is 12. He is old enough to follow rules. This is not just a kid being a kid,” expressed yet another commenter.
Do you support OP’s stance, or do you feel she should have handled the situation differently? What approach would you take if you were in her place?
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