The Old Lady Who Bets


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One day, a small elderly woman entered the Bank of Canada with a sack full of cash. “It’s a lot of money,” she maintained, insisting that she have to talk to the bank president in order to open a savings account.

The bank employees eventually showed her into the president’s office after much deliberation (the customer is always right!).

She was then asked how much she would like to deposit by the bank president. “$165,000!” was her response, and she threw the money onto his desk from her purse. Naturally interested in learning how she obtained so much money, the president said to her, “Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around.”How did you obtain this cash?

The elderly woman retorted, “I wager.” Next, the president enquired, “Bets? What sort of wagers are these?

“Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square,” the elderly woman stated. “Ha!” exclaimed the president, “That wager is foolish.” That kind of wager is impossible to win!”

Shall I dare you, then? said the elderly woman. The president said, “Okay, I’ll wager $25,000 that my balls are not square.”

The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?”. “Yes,” the self-assured president answered.

The president became quite anxious about the wager that evening and took a long time to examine his testicles in front of a mirror, repeatedly shifting from side to side. He examined them all carefully until he was certain that his balls were not square in any manner and that he would win the wager.

At precisely 10:00 am the following day, the small elderly woman and her attorney showed up at the president’s office. “$25,000 says the president’s balls are square,” she said as she presented the attorney to the president.

The president accepted the wager once more, and the elderly woman motioned for him to take off his pants so that everyone could see. It was the president. The small elderly woman asked if she might feel his balls after taking a careful look.

The president responded, “Well, okay. Twenty-five thousand dollars is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” It was at that moment that he became aware of the lawyer’s softly hitting his head against the wall.

“What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?” the President questioned the elderly woman. “Nothing,” she retorted. “But I bet him $100,000 that I’d have the president of The Bank of Canada’s balls in my hand at 10:00 AM today.”

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Anjum Iqbal

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