It’s supposed to be a day of festivity, the start of a new year full of promise and happiness. Rather, it’s a day that emphasizes the anguish and loneliness that are all too common. I’m more than simply a face in the crowd—I’m the one that people avoid looking at and ignore.
I was taught early on that looks are important. People are valued by society in part because of their appearance and cleanliness, as though these superficial characteristics define a person’s value. I’ve been called “ugly” and “dirty,” and these derogatory terms have stuck to me like a shadow, affecting not just how I see myself but also how other people see me.
This discomfort gets worse on my birthday. I get gifts, smiles, and best wishes from others, but I get ignored, or worse, treated with contempt. The person behind the labels is invisible to others. They are unaware of the events that have brought us to this point, including the struggles, setbacks, and resiliency needed to just get by in an often cruel society.
Not only is the lack of kindness unbearable, but so is the willful exclusion. It feels deeply unfair to be left behind due to something as trivial as appearance. It seems like my worth as a person is based more on how I appear than on who I am.
However, there is power in owning up to this hurt and refusing to let it define who I am. Despite the pain, I keep hoping that eventually others will see past appearances and recognize the beauty of kindness, resiliency, and an unbreakable spirit.
My birthday is today, and although it may bring me more grief than happiness, it also signifies another year of surviving and going on in spite of the challenges. While the pain is genuine, there is also hope that a better future, one in which individuals are accepted for who they are rather than how they seem, may arrive tomorrow.
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